Dear friend,
Evidently, I'm still stuck with this formatting style. But nevermind that, I just want to blab something. Here it goes:
Well. I just realized that there are so many things I want to have; so many experiences I want to happen; people I want to befriend; bitches I wanna throw out of the building; bunch of wishes I want to come true... And I wonder whether any of these are worth having, experiencing or doing. I sometimes ask myself "to where do I really need to put myself to get things right?"
I wanted... I mean, I even kept thinking if wanting these would be fine. Genuinely, I know some things are not mandatory to have but I think there's this monster within me who keeps nagging my brain to think of my desires. We're talking about material things and normal happenings in life here, okay? There are existent and nonexistent matter I continuously think. There are arguments in my head I can't settle...
There even came a point when I feel like there's a war in my head.
There's this voice that sounded very much like me:
I want this and that and those, too, they're awesome to have! I wanna go here and travel the world. Hey, who's that? I don't know him much but it looks like he's interesting (might even be a famous person, I don't know) so I'll talk to him. I want to know why this thing happen. I want to have something others don't.
Then another voice popped in and surprisingly, it sounded like mine, too:
You already have everything others don't. And you just don't talk to people because they're interesting or famous. You talk to them because you just feel like... not to gain something or anything for your own advantage. Plus, you can't have all life's treasures. If you have everything, where will you put it?
And then, they started throwing words at each other. Sometimes, the other was right... sometimes, the other. They have their own points and own faults and the next thing I know, I really don't know what to think.
But I'm not asking for everything!
You're still asking too much of what you can have.
Does that make a difference?
It all makes the difference.
How come?
In all ways you can't think of because you're a shallow-minded fool.
Don't you dare call me that! If I'm a fool, then you are, too!
I'm not. I always think twice, even thrice, before I act.
Then that made you the fool. You always keep thinking. You never had the chance to do things in one grab. You always think.
I think to make me wise. If I don't then I won't have the opportunity to expand my knowledge. End of the story.
You don't understand. Sometimes, there are things that are more amusing to do without thinking whether you need to do it or not.
How come you say that? I see not the way you do.
Because you're a shallow-minded fool.
How dare you rebound that to me?
I thought you think? Why not do it now? Then, let's see...
And this second speaker, the one who always think, groped for answers that her partner can barely understand. They see not the way the other does. And they continued to shoot arguments and counterarguments... not knowing where this battle ends.
It's you who don't understand. If you do one thing without thinking and you failed, where will your fruits lay? None but six feet below. All your efforts... without thinking... will be gone with the wind.
Nicely put. I see you really think. But you forgot that sometimes, failure is essential. You fail, you learn and sometimes you don't repeat the same things.
That's absurd. You don't always learn and sometimes you keep repeating the same mistakes you did. No lesson learned because at the first place, you did not think.
"Mistakes only become mistakes when you never learn from it."
Ridiculous! That's an ancient saying! "When you do one thing, there's a tendency to repeat it." And your mistake is not an exception.
So you're saying we should not make a mistake? Impossible. It's a natural process!
Precisely. A natural process, yet you can minimize its effect if you think. Think, my dear, think.
You're not making any sense!
So are you.
It ends for now because of the sudden exhaustion of the mind they are dwelling in. It ends for now... for the mean time. But prepare, for the circumstances are not stagnant, and the time to be at war again is not so far. The essence of their defenses, however, is as empty as the content of a half-full champagne glass I tried to drink on one occasion.
(R) The fact lives that this is a booby post. And I'm nothing but a multifaceted ogre. Teehee. And I'm a parrot who over-think things even the small stuff. Sweat at the wrong works. Plan pristinely, act wretchedly. Trying-hard leader, well sometimes, a nearly-responsible member. I want things. I don't want things. I like you. I hate you. This is how my life works. Undeniably confusing. Perfectly mismatched. And I'm disdainfully contented. Though not... sometimes. ;)