Dear friend,
Have you ever felt like being anti-social sometimes? Or most of the time? Well I just have. I mean, social networking sites are fun. It helps you get in touched with people you could barely talk with personally. I just don't like it when people use it as a way of inviting me to occasions I don't very much feel like going. Did I say that right? I hope I did.
Anyway, it wasn't really about the social networking sites I don't like the most. It's this party my friend would be throwing 2 days from now for her celebration of reaching legal age. Fortunately and unfortunately, I was invited. I love the idea because at least I know that even after all, she still treats me as one of her closest friends. I was even placed at the Candles. You know, that part where you hold out a lighted candle and speak words of, er, wisdom. Kidding. You speak anything you want to tell the debutante. You can even curse if you want to but just make sure her parents aren't listening. That's least likely.
I was invited, unfortunately, because I don't really feel like going to these kind of parties. But maybe we can exclude that one from my college friend three to four months ago. I like that one, except for the fact that I looked awful with my thick make-up on. I hate putting make-up and I mean I really hate it. That's one of the reasons I don't want to attend my friend's party this 4th of June.
In my opinion, as a girl--- I mean, as a lady, you should learn how to dress yourself properly. It's not an obligation to put on make-up but it's a factor to consider to make you pleasant. You also have to wear dress and heels and have your hair done well. You also have to act with demeanor, walk with elegance, speak educated and socialize finely.
And I don't like it. I don't hate it either. I'm not really good at doing those and as much as possible I really don't like to pretend. But hello? That's a party and you can't expect me to act the way I do when wearing comfortable clothes. I always think I act like one of the boys, really. My friends said so, too, and it's fine. Honest.
Another reason for me not to like parties is the money spent to look fabulous. Forgive me for the word used. I don't really think I look fabulous but I guess it's one word that can somehow justify the look. Take for instance the money spent for the dress, the shoes, and if you don't know anything about make-up and hair-whatever, you also got to spend some for the trick. You see? All these for that one night you don't feel like going?
I know you can just say "don't go if you don't want to" but the problem is I never said I'll make it but my friend expected me there. And she's a close friend too so I can't find a way out. And she's this type of person you can't say no to.
I really haven't got any idea why I am doing this but I feel very much relieved having a say in this with someone. I mean, sorry, something.
Incidentally, it's already the 3rd and I still got her no gift so I guess I should drop by the mall later. And oh, another thing. The event location is far and I got no means of getting there except for getting along with my other "friend".
Now, I'm growing up and knowing things I need to know, the term "friends" is not anymore for random people I feel like being friends with. Unlike those elementary days when I consider almost everyone my friend, this age is really different. I know who the real ones are. And I know the ones who I really value.
So this so-called friend (which I don't really feel like calling a friend but I always did for some label) will be with me tomorrow, 4th of June, on the way to my friend-debutante's location. He's a guy. And I don't like him that much. He acts almost as good as a girl but he is definitely a guy, I know that. Well, he likes visiting me here in our house which I really hate. I don't don't like it. I hate it. I hate him visiting me for no reasons. I hate people visiting me in this house whoever you are. I'm starting to think of telling you another story but I guess my letter would be more than long if I do that.
He's always that one who can't stick his butt on his chair and who likes going out every now and then even with people he just met. I'm not like that and I think he thinks that I am. Definitely not.
Anyway, I guess I just have to endure being with people I'm not comfortably with just for one night. I also think it's really a rude thing for me to say something like these... but there's actually no point pretending. I really hate parties.
PS
That's why I don't like to throw a party on my 18th birthday. I hate parties. I hate preparing for things I don't feel like preparing. All I really want is that Harry Potter series (hardbound with case) which my mom promised to get me but I'm not sure if she's keeping her word and this. I really adore that one in the link. I love it really, I want that one. I get it and I'll be in the state of euphoria. Someone gets me this, I swear, I'm gonna love that person... not romantically, tho. ;)
©R.
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